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September 24 time to say good bye It's the time to say Good bye. It makes me so sad. Can't remember how many times had I said goodbye for the past 22 years, not few, not too many. August 12 十年 22岁，人生的第一章落下帷幕。 有过爱，有过痛，有过梦想，还有朋友 我本是个不完整的人，是你们一点点教会了我。你们将快乐与我共同分享，而将苦痛与我共同承担。 诚其心而正其意。是我一直对自己的坚持。只是人非圣贤，难免有杂念。 君子之过如日月之食，过而改之，善莫大焉。 成事不说，过往不咎，所以面向未来吧 全心全意地为了梦想而奋斗！ 即将远赴英伦，此去漫漫，吾将上下而其手。。。err，不对，而求索！ August 07 2009年的暑假这个暑假多少有点“寂寞”呢，想要的人一直没有见着，心里有些不开心。有时候吧，不是自己想要假，而是被环境逼得要假。骗人没什么，骗自己才是真的恨。原来哦，我也没自己想得那么坚强。还去批评别人。。。闷热的夏天，吐出一口浊气，仿佛要吐出所有的烦恼似的。人生，很难满足诶 March 09 玛格莱娜小甜饼没人回复我的日志也要继续写。正好也因为没人回复就可以假设没人看就可以肆无忌惮地写。
好怀念玛格莱娜小甜饼的味道啊～能理解这是怎样的一种怀念吗？
那是怀念过去所有一切开心的时刻的心情啊～想念那在欧洲的一切诶，教堂和甜点，啤酒和美女，走过金色的塞那河，不管别人怎么看，呵呵
所以呢，要继续追寻。寻找，然后寻见。忽然有些嫉妒了呢，又有些好笑，该有的都有，还是觉得不够，是不是贪心的念头。。。刹住，我不是纵观线
February 25 日志，又见日志我想了老久要往space上面写一篇日志，也想了很久的题目。最早的题目最雷人，叫做“帘外雨潺潺”，后昨晚一场雷暴雨，又让潺潺的意境一下子提升到了“雷雨，又见雷雨”。凡是下雨打雷的时候我总是觉得很爽的，而且能够yy出很多东西，但是yy完了发觉还要早睡，恩，因为今天一早的课，所以昨天还是没有写什么。今天下午终于搞定了论文导师，虽然题目还没定，总算有了个方向，可以放心一下子。于是么，就上space写这篇“日志，又见日志”
最近多愁善感的方向主要是感情问题，虽然我事实上没有任何感情问题可以用来多愁善感。但是，人还是可以没事自己给自己找不自在的是不是？前天吧，一边看CFA的ethics，一边听一些老歌，那些老歌伴随着纠结的ethics居然把我自己感动地半死。我就问自己了，我自己到底想要什么？有时候吧，人并不是真的那么不清楚自己想要什么；或者说，浑浑噩噩中，不自觉地就会选择他真正想要的东西。但是呢，回过头来，又会怀疑，这真的是我想要的吗？人，真是一个搞笑的命题。
对了，最近有人考CFA么，征人同考ing
January 07 生日杂记今天考了投资学，管理学院的专业课，也是这学期的最后一门。虽然没怎么上过课，不过看在最后几天复习还比较勤奋的情况下，考试应该还是稳稳地过了。提前了半个小时出来，路上不禁在想，如果我当时选择的经院或者管院，现在是不是也会是某些牛群中的一头呢？抛却无意义的遐想，依旧要面对现实。数学带给了我们很多，然而我们不知道怎么去用他。我们也都开始怀疑它是否真的有用。那种纯纯的快感，和现实的欲望，有时候并不显得十分地融洽。
面对未来，在工作与出国之间我依然倾向于出去。虽然这意味着更大的风险，也意味着更大的可能性。接下来一段时间有很多事情可以做，具体做什么还没有想好，但毕竟是一段宝贵的可以相对自由支配的时间。好好享受吧 November 25 bless一下所有找工作的同学朋友们，zz，很好玩的主祷词被某人教育，不要拿了四大的offer就颓了。。。
anyway，不管她，发一段同学写的主祷词，bless所有正在job hunting的朋友们
“我们在XX的HR，愿你的招聘不要结束，愿人都尊你的名为圣，愿你的宣讲放在交大也放在复旦，我们每年的就业，今年也赐给我们，免了我们的面试，如同我们不想参加别人的面试，救我们脱离待业，不叫我们收到拒信，因为工资，奖金，提成，全是你的，直到永远，Offer.” November 22 江边沉思我这段时间很颓废，在找工作和申请出国之间折腾，弄得人很疲惫，觉得累。今天傍晚，一个人在小区散步，走到苏州河边，看着平静的宛如一面镜子的河面，忽然间心里有了一些感动。高一我就会背：子在川上曰，逝者如斯夫，不舍昼夜。以前一直觉得，这是一句励志的话，教导我们要抓紧时间，因为时间就像那东流水，一去不复返。然而今天想想，却不尽然。生命的前进就宛如河水的流逝，也并不是因为你抓紧或者不抓紧而有丝毫改变的。子在川上，并没用曰“少壮不努力”，也没用曰“明日复明日”，他只是简简单单地说了逝者如斯四个字，我深深的觉得，那一刻，他仿佛是洞悉了人生的本命题，我们从何而来，又向何而去，这一切，就像河水东流那边自然。
站在江边，我又想到了La Saine，我想到了美丽的多瑙河，那些让人喜欢的地方去一次怎么够？若是匆匆地走过，如何能体会其中动人之处。我多么想再次背起行囊，再次游学四方。我多么想不是为了能找一份更好的工作而出国留学，我多么想，为自己真正想做的事情而努力。但我并不清楚，什么是我真正想要的。站在河边，我想到了卡夫卡，想到了海岩，也想到了我家乡的大海。小时候，我就喜欢去金山海边的码头，夜晚，星月朗照，海却是无边的深邃，海浪一波又一波地冲击礁石，又是那么自然地粉碎在了礁石之上。当时我崇拜那无边大海的魔力，今天却更钦佩那礁石的笃定。那份不张扬，便是我所不能的。 August 26 随感这两天比较悠闲，刚刚把GRE的AW考掉，还没开始复习verbal，着实闲散了几天。
于是乎，当在网上看了些小说电影，2点睡11点起，生活糜烂至极
无聊之余，又起了花头精。我这两天从网上找了《不能说的秘密》里的8首钢琴曲，特别把里面那首secret，很好听的很容易的，Jay的版本，给练了一下。
一边弹一边yy...
恩~~幸福呐
怎么说呢，我这个人对于浪漫的感情有着视同虚无的抵御能力，大概略强于无知QC的小女生而已，对我而言，单纯完美的爱情总是很轻易地就能扣动我们这种久经沧桑的心（小呕吐中）。个么话说弹琴的两大功用，一是自娱自乐，二是花女孩子，渐渐的我认识的不少男生们主要是发挥第二大功能了，而忽略了第一个功能。其实呢，花女孩子也不是为了过得更开心么？那既然有功夫花女孩子，也应该要有功夫娱乐娱乐自己咯~~
怎么说呢？我觉得吧，一个人能过得自得其乐是一件很了不得的事情。
人生的本态是孤独的。但是有些人就可以一个人活的很滋润，而有些人就活的很干涩，更有人很纠结。额，我要做第一种人。
我想要写小说，做菜，布置房间，多打球踢球，还有，多赚钱。任务还挺重的！
July 12 咖啡与茶（下）天空偶然飘来一整雨，点点洒落夏日的热情。
让我想起了以前的很多事情，从高中到现在，一直在长大。那些恍恍忽忽的画面，有如佛说的梦幻泡影，具有强烈的不真实感。唯有曾经对那雷雨的誓言，还是时时会浮现。只是，恐怕那风那雷那雨都已经忘记了。
这样的时节，用来说感情，那就显得俗了。我们要说些更俗的，比如说孤独。当所有人都忙起来的时候，想约一个朋友出来吃顿饭，也变得困难。而每次和朋友聚会分别，转身的一霎那，总会有强烈的失落感，即使我读不出一丝留恋。lonely is a man without love。这歌很好听的啊～
本来是想写篇博文伤感一下的，顺便抒发一下独自奋斗的寂寥，结果刚刚在网上碰到党员同学，这男人high的可以，结果我就被他搞high了，结果我就没心情写博文了，算了算了，今天就到此为止吧～ June 05 Think it seriouslyThink it seriously
It's an article of the conclusion of my study life in Nottingham.
Time goes fast.
留下了很多美好的回忆，也成长了不少。
许多的体验，超出了语言能够表达的范畴。
Happiness comes from all those precious friendship, from the Christians of Lenton Hall, Tim, Adam, Jon, Jonason, Emily, Rachel, Sammy, Dave, Phil... and from those Italian Men full of the sense of Sunshine in Medditerran, and also from my Chinese friends in UK, old and new,
也挥霍了不少时间，网络小说动漫游戏，该补的都补的差不多了。。。
"Pass" might be my self evaluation for my study here. Although the exams result is still unclear, it should be ok. Maybe 4 of 5 will be first-class. But only one reference letter is obtained, which might not be strong enough to ensure my furthur study abroad. Some books are not finished reading, although they are quite interesting and valuable. Basic goal is achieved with nothing outstanding occured.
中文的表达有点生疏，英语有些小进步。我在语言上天赋不高，学得比较慢，属于厚积方可薄发的那种。
Anyway, there will be an end of this period of lifetime and another period of time, a much tougher one, approaches to me. As I believe, difficulties defines a man.
5th Jun,
Lenton Hurst, UoN May 05 from ft.com“Bureaucrats everywhere fear to look stupid,” says a top executive at one Chinese investment arm. “That is especially the case in China, where the cadres are supposed to be the elite. They are perceived, and perceive themselves, as smart.” April 05 为更而更实在是好久没有写日志了，想想也是荒芜的有些久了，怎么多有点过意不去。免得又被某人叫作懒人，所以今天乖乖地写一篇。
算来在英国已经呆了快3个月了，“鸟”语花香，香肠面包都不再希奇，金发碧眼低胸束腰的mm也只是看过算过，岛上的日子就这么逐渐习惯下来。这里的岛民普遍有悠闲尽情的生活情态，而我这个来自遥远东方的外来人，也逐渐耳濡目染，入乡随俗。这个漫长的easter假期，没有实习很少作业，前半个月都给我拿来环游英国了。起点是诺丁汉，然后Leeds，Manchester，Glasgow，Dundee，London，Cambridge，最后回到学校。一路且行且看，体验异国人情，收获也算不小。至于在glasgow连续两晚被赶出旅馆，又或者是一天到晚找Tesco买打折食物，呵呵，我不care的～
Dundee有人接应，玩得最过奢侈，然而算来还是伦敦最爽。同时又刷新了人生好几个第一。第一次ice skating （好惬意的），第一次游泰晤士河，看到了传说中的London Bridge （至于儿歌里面的那个London Bridge‘s falling down， falling down的在真的falling down之后被英国人卖给美国人了），当然更有名的是tower bridge，至今每年还要开启上百次。沿着Thames而下，最激动我的莫过于传说中的金融城，不过我激动什么呢？就是，这个有什么好激动的呢？Thames河水其实很脏的，和黄浦江差不多，两岸的房子也就这样。不过来英国有些日子了，也懂了看英国不能看外表的。当你真的走近才会发觉他们骨子里的殷实，像免费的博物馆，奢华古朴却全年开放的图书馆，才是这个老牌资本主义帝国内在实力的显现。
在伦敦看了一场法国电影，water Lily，真不错。法语英字，充满暗示和符号，美学和思考，喜欢法国电影。
其他么，伦敦就是一大堆royalXXX，真无聊，老大帝国，居然还碰到一个英国老人在imperial war museum怀念什么the sun never set的时光，不过今天他还是很自豪，因为英国export language。好吧，我成交，以后你们英国export language，我们中国export manufacturing and service。
最后一站是剑桥，时间很短，只有半天。做了件很痴颠的事情，站在康桥的栏杆旁，自拍自演了n遍再别康桥，管tmd路人怎么看呢，不过朗诵的不好。好久不弄这个了，嗓子也不太好，玩得累了，（算了，不找借口了，我朗诵本来也就这点水平）。但，这还是很牛的对伐？毕竟是在康河的柔波上，实地拍摄的～
流水涨暴完。
以前心情烦乱的时候博客写得多，也写得好。现在呢，还是有很多担忧的事情，只是不知不觉有了很多的变化。成熟，恩，这个叫成熟。
^_^，所谓成熟～ February 03 转贴自George，不告自取，择日登门：）2月2日
My StoryThe bell of New Year is ringing, and I’m half way through my undergraduate life at Oxford, precisely. I think it’s a time to be marked, and I deem it worthwhile to write down some thoughts I built up over the past months before I age and my memory rots, and time changes.
Looking back, if I were given a second chance to choose where to go, I would pick Oxford without hesitation. Just as the saying goes, this is a place where talents converge and minds diverge. Cliché exists as a cliché for a reason. Once you embrace yourself to the storm, it strips off your questionable values and blows away your immature beliefs. Growth marks my life here, and I was renewed and charged up day by day. Our world is so diversified that as long as you wish, you could always be flooded by new gadgets and challenged, shaken by new values. You shape yourself by trials and errors, and university is the very lab you need. I may or may not build up many life-long friendships here, and the staggering mobility of the world put them at test perpetually, but I am sure that I will remember many of the names here, as a symbol of gurus, vanguards, aliens, and role models. At the end of the day, it’s knowledge and people matters. And I weigh them the same.
One of the takeaways I got from Kaifu Li is that the cost of failure at colleges is the lowest on your way down the road. I embedded that in my philosophy and it might be the single most critical factors to trap me in the ivory tower. What I didn’t grasp in Peking is that as life unfolds its multiple dimensions, the cost of failure finds its second layer of meaning. Life is colourful, but to attain the spark of YOUR life, you have to narrow down, be focused, and be determined. Variety, together with mobility, presents another ultimate test in your life. And I believe that, genuine passion, and only your genuine passion, could gravitate you back from all the distractions. This is what the interviewers look for, and indeed it’s what really matters. So, I ask myself, why finance, why trading? My honest answer is, I’m not completely sure. That’s why we stay testing.
Life changing decisions aside, there’s something yet less ambiguous. That’s the beauty of wisdom. I am reading Alan Greenspan. I am touched by its extensive coverage of global economy and US economy in particular and its comprehensive historic snapshots of this world over the past decades. Indeed, we live in an age of turbulence. But there’s no reason to fear and to pull back. Volatility itself is a beauty, and we are at the very center of the vortex. The man is a live fossil, and I don’t see anyone on this planet has better authority to write such a broad review.
Another book I am reading now is ‘Market Wizards’ written in late 1980s. It composes a list of interviews of the world’s most successful traders. Trading is a business where your failure as well as success are immortalized by the figures and there’s no way to cover them up. It’s an ultimate psyche challenge as well as a technique test. You are competing with an army of intelligent wizards together with the collective wisdom of the market. It sounds really scary, but glory comes from the storms and endless darkness.
Leave book crunching alone, what affects me most now is undoubtedly the society. Presidency means leadership in real, not in textbooks. Probably it’s my last chance to shoulder so many responsibilities in the foreseeable future, so I value it and cherish the chance. The experience is invaluable to me and I have learned so much indeed. Details omitted.
Once Cathy said to me that we were luck to get the chance to stand out and see how this world is really formed. The more I spend time on this island, the more I feel it that way. Looking around, I clearly see people trapped by routine doomed to end with pain, see my past mistakes repeated here and other, conscience of the fact that I am always in one of those loops as well. This is the evolution of life, this is the way to GROW. Growth, is the story November 09 Du cafe ou du teaDu café ou du tea Du café ou du tea？这是要看情况的。比如说早晨8：15，一边还迷糊犯困，一边却要和随机变量纠缠，咖啡无疑是最合适的；或者是悠闲的午后，在一间桌椅破旧却照得进阳光的小教室，费劲脑汁地去理解不是我能力所及的课本，这时候，往往依旧是一杯咖啡，可以提起些许精神，更或者可以带来一些好心情，继续学习。如此说来，茶又在何处？其实，我喝茶更多，除了以上所说的场合，基本都是喝茶，可以是一群人在圆缘园打牌时的梅子绿茶，可以是家里和父母泡功夫茶，也可以一个人简简单单用宿舍的纯净水，泡一杯再简单不过的龙井，看书、做题、喝茶、再热水、再冲、再看书，如此差不多也就是一个寻常晚上的光景了。 其实喝茶是个很泛泛的东西，就像我前面说的，可以是一群人喝、两三个人喝、也可以是一个人，自己给自己泡一杯，然后做手头的事情。这时候，茶就成了一样若有若无的东西。往往是揭开杯盖，水蒸气从刚刚冲开的茶水中升腾起来，一阵雾气立刻笼上镜片。所有视线顿时模糊，短暂间，先是鼻子能嗅到茶气，再是口舌间留过茶水，暖暖地，成为了隔绝了视线的外界世界在那一刻带给人的唯一体验。虽然只是一瞬间，却仿佛还是可以从手头的事情中抽离，短短的一霎那，变得离这个世界远了。“人若活得幸福，他便离这个世界远了”，忘记了是谁曾经说过。只记得曾是一封匿名的情书，在我大一期末的时候安静的出现在宿舍里我的桌子上，信的主人末了说，是我某时的笑容让她想起了许多美好的东西，亦是写信的那份过程让她暂时觉得离这个世界远了，也是一份幸福的感觉。而我，也算是受着她那份幸福的感染，开开心心地去考试了。 其实，我这个人是不太容易快乐的。这一点有时连我自己也很讨厌，若说一个人老是活着不开心，活着还有什么意思。于是，便有人喜欢温习过去的短暂快乐，也有人选择执着追求未来的幸福。前者，譬如写“A la recherche du temps perdu”的普鲁斯特，后者，比如考G考T拼绩点的诸多数学系同仁。而我，算是在两者之间徘徊吧。如果要笃志而体一下，就会泡杯咖啡，拿出张白纸，将今天、明天、本周、本月的工作计划列出，然后雄心壮志地投入到工作中去。这时候的咖啡，更像一种催化剂，代表了某种状态下的我。怀着远大的理想，本着牺牲的精神，家国天下，社稷苍生，居庙堂之高则忧其君，处江湖之远则忧其民，以求自我价值的终极实现。而或者，就是比较颓废的我，一杯淡茶，一台笔记本，和我们班的党员同学抄星际的凌晨4点。茶水早就喝干了，也懒得去到，总是尝试着从已经喝得很干的茶水中再喝些出来。杯子里因为有了茶叶，就很不容易见底了。就像男人一旦有了点才，虽然其本质还是男人，但感觉还是不一样的。 写到这，就有点写不下去了。因为我手边的不是茶、不是咖啡，只是一杯白开水。白开水有着无与伦比的魅力，因为简单，所以温度水质甚至杯子的质地都会带来敏感的体验。可惜不是这篇文章的内容，或许可以日后再补一篇。但白开水决没有茶和咖啡那人所共知的通俗作用，提神。所以，虽然言语尚多，但日后再写吧，这里就省略号结尾了…… October 14 Personal StatementIt may sound ridiculous if I state why I initially decided to apply for the exchange program at the University of Nottingham is due to my favorite Hollywood movies——Notting Hill. But it is the truth. Roger Michell, the director of Notting Hill, depicted the ordinary life in Britain with vivid film language, which aroused the great interest of me to have a close view of Britain. Therefore, considering the great distance between Britain and China, I think I will not be blamed for failing in differentiating Nottingham with Notting Hill within no more than 200 kilometers, or for any other bias and misunderstanding if exist.
However, bias and misunderstanding do exist sometimes. Last year, when I was a volunteer tutor, teaching Sociology Courses for the children of migrant labors, I received a carefully written but astonishing essay from a 13-year-old girl in my class as her final examination. I swear the essay is all of her own thinking. “Although it is always a good luck for one nation to possess a large quantity of oil,” she wrote and I translated, “it turns out to be misery and disaster for Iraq to be invaded by America just because of oil”. She added, “taking the issue of nuclear weapon as an excuse, America came to Iraq directly for oil. Even though the United Nation is established to promote peace in the world, it is out of her power to prevend such a powerful nation like America from doing so.”
Without sufficient information and communication, a girl in China might overlook the complicated factors leading to the Iraq War, just as I cannot tell the difference between Notting Hill district in London and Nottingham before this program. Therefore, communication between Britain and China turns out to be a process of eliminating bias and performing respectful. And I do appreciate this opportunity for me to learn advanced knowledge and skills, especially mathematical finance courses, at the University of Nottingham. If I am granted a chance, I will expect to absorb advanced western experience as well as convey traditional oriental ideology to my peers in Nottingham.
In the film of Notting Hill, An American film star enjoyed a happy ending at a place so called Notting Hill. And hopefully, I would also have a wonderful semester at the University of Nottingham.
Sincerely,
Zhou Sihong Undergraduate, Fudan University August 22 随笔成王之数，曰人曰势曰勤，在乎进退趋避之间； 处世之要，曰慎曰明曰毅，得乎宠辱成败之外。 备考之余，发贴灌水，半文半白，狗屁不通，亦快事已哉！ 所谓GRE让人成熟一说，确实有点道理。只是近来觉得，生活的压力也渐渐变大。以后的路并不容易走，老实说。
La vie en rose。这大概是一种态度，而非一个基于事实的判断。
不管选择哪条路，工作或者出国，都是不容易的。而且之后的道路还是不容易。
只是要给自己一个理由，绝对地有道理 走下去。
背红宝的生活终于远离了荒废度日的恶习，每天背单词弹钢琴听音乐锻炼身体，也是一个人的幸福生活。
一个人的生活要求，其实并不高。苟日新，足矣。
继续加油，把这10天不到的孤独宁静好好享受～～～ |
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